Outers Quarrel! Setsuna's One True Love
by Firefly Rebirth
Summary: This is a weird story about the darker side of Sailor Pluto. Written in first person, real time. Kinda weird, but fairly decent for having been written months ago. Enjoy!


I wrote this a long time ago

I wrote this a long time ago.No, I have no clue what I was thinking.

p.s. I don't own any of the Sailor Moon characters.If I did, I'd be raking in tons of cash and wouldn't bother writing fanfics…

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Outers Quarrel!Setsuna's One True Love

"Setsuna, excuse me," Michiru says to me.She stands there in a plain white dress, with a matching silk ribbon tying back her shoulder-length, wavy sea-green hair.Her deep blue eyes look into mine, and I sense the uncertainty that clung to her as a child does to its mother.

"What's wrong, Michiru?" I ask, getting up.I am wearing a slim green dress with my long, ankle-length deep green hair pulled back into a braid.I am taller than her, so I look down."Are you all right?"

"Sure," she smiles, still scared."I just want to ask if you would mind going shopping with me?"

"If that's all…" I think she is being silly on purpose."Let's go."I go to the door and take down her blue sweater, handing it to her.I take my black jacket and pull it gently over my arms.I take my red purse down, that small wallet on a sting that matches my unique eyes, and wear it on my shoulder.Michiru has on her sweater already, so off we go.

Once we are in the car, a small foreign deep purple, Michiru sighs."Setsuna…"

I get impatient after waiting five minutes for her to finish.It isn't like me to do that, but I couldn't help it.

"What is it?"I ask, hoping desperately for a worthwhile reply.

"I have to tell you something, Setsuna.Haruka…I can't tell Haruka.I can't figure out how to tell her," Michiru tells me slowly.I wondered why she was being like that.

"What do you have to say to her that is so bad?" I wonder aloud as I turn the corner quickly.I park across the street from a tearoom."Why don't we discuss this over tea before shopping?"

"Sure, that's fine," Michiru agrees, not being herself.I might not be her lover…no, I am _not_ Haruka, but I can sense when something is troubling Michiru.

We go in and sit near the window, sipping gently at the sweet-tasting liquid."Michiru, if you can't tell me, I cannot help."

"I want something from Haruka that she can't give me," Michiru says on her third cup of tea.She never drinks so much, not even tea.She's got to be preoccupied.

"Haruka?Haruka can give you almost anything…that is, except—"

"A child of our own," she finishes, not really caring about how much it hurts anymore.She needs to get it out."I want a baby, like the younger girls—but they aren't girls anymore.They're grown, all of them twenty-five now…all but Usagi and Minako without children, and we know Usagi and Mamoru will have Chibi-Usa in the future and Minako wants to continue her singing career now…" her tone is dreamy, her gaze and attention switching to some non-existent object in the distance."When I fell in love with Haruka…I thought we would have everything…and we did…"

"But it wasn't enough?" I prompt, even though I know she will go on without me.

"Not now…God, why do I have to want a child?" her voice is nearly raw, and the self-blame she has in rising.

"I can't let Haruka look like the guilty one here," she says after a few more sips of her fourth cup of tea."I can't let her…"

"Michiru, what about Hotaru-chan?Does she not love you and Haruka as second parents?" I try to get her to forget, to forget that her instincts tell her to have children with the one she loves.Try to convince her that all was right in falling for another woman, and that she doesn't need a man now.

"Hotaru, oh, sweet Hotaru-chan…she is not ours, not Haruka's and mine.Not my own flesh and blood…" Michiru looks down at her lap, I assume at trembling hands.

"So adopting is out of the question?"

"I don't know, Setsuna…I don't know… Don't you have that instinct?That feeling that you want your own baby, your own child?Don't you want you and your love to bring someone special into the world by yourselves?"Her comments are like stones.I have no love, not as the lonely Guardian of Time.

"Destiny," I say, knowing I may hurt her, but her comments were very painful."It is my destiny to be alone.Maybe it is yours and Haruka's not to have a baby."

"Setsuna!" she is amazed that I, sweet little me, would be so curt, so unfriendly.

"Look, Michiru," I continue, no longer in control."If you want to love another woman as you do…don't look to me for a shoulder to cry on when you realize that you aren't compatible in the area of baby-making.It's your own fault."

It was the last part that got to her."_My_ fault?What, all of a sudden you're anti-Lesbian?Then maybe you feel uncomfortable around someone who loves someone of her own sex?Maybe _I_ am scary?"She also gains more confidence."Well, if I can't have a baby with Haruka…then maybe you should just stay alone.What man would want you anyway?!" she screams, getting up in a huff.Michiru storms out with tears on her face, but by then it's too late.God, why was she being so stubborn, so much like how I was being? 

God, let her go have her own way.Let Haruka comfort her.Who cares if they can't have children as long as they can be together?Damn, what's wrong with me? I look at my tea, realizing it isn't even half empty.What was I doing when Michiru was downing all those cups?

"What's wrong, miss?"It's a gentle male voice from behind me.

"Oh, I'm certainly not a 'miss' anymore…" I say, turning to see a handsome blond man with short blond hair.I glance into his deep, yet simple, blue eyes."Can I help you?"I wipe my eyes.

"Well, you're crying for one," he says, his voice is music to my ears."Did that woman say anything bad to you, miss?"

"Am I?" I wipe my eyes again, this time desperate for my mascara not to run."Don't worry about Michiru, we were just both in bad moods today."

"I hope you feel better," he tells me.A waitress comes up and takes Michiru's glass away, as well as wiping up her spot.She inquires if the man wants anything.He says, "Just the usual."

"Yes, Mr. Jade," the waitress is off.The brunette woman returns soon with a steaming mug that smells of hazelnut.She sets it down across from where I'm sitting, and hurries to go help a new customer.

"Mr. Jade," I murmur."Would you like to sit down?"This time I am louder.

He sits down and gently slurps his tea.He blushes very lightly, but I notice anyway."You can call me Jadeite, miss."

I sense the kindness radiating from him and smile."Very well, Jadeite.What do need of me?"

"Well…I don't want you to be upset," he starts slowly."You seem so…lonely.I hate for people to be lonely, because I know how bad it is.Me and being alone are up close and personal."

"I've never heard anyone phrase it like that," I giggle a bit.I feel strange, for I never giggle.The sensation is different, yet not unpleasing."By the way, I am Meioh Setsuna."

"All right, Meioh-san.Why don't we get something to eat?"He smiles, and we eat a wonderful dinner.I know by the end of the night that I'm in love with him.

"You're doing _what_?" demands Haruka.It is three and a half months later.She is standing in front of me, blocking my exit.

I am holding a small suitcase; my other, larger ones are already loaded into the trunk of my car."Moving out," I say.I'm wearing a loose, silk purple blouse, a deep green pair of loose slacks.My hair is pulled back into a high ponytail and spreads out and down not nearly as far as it would if I wore it as I usually did.But this is not a usual day.

"Moving out?"It's Michiru.We are basically over our fight, but we have not mentioned it.As a matter of fact, we haven't really talked at all sense I met Jadeite.Michiru is concerned, and she looks very sad."Where will you go, Setsuna?" she questions, her voice soft and sweet.

"What about Hotaru?What about when she comes back from school?" Haruka is fierce, and I see the pain in her eyes.I feel sorry, but…

"I know you love him," Michiru says, "It's obvious.But what about the rest of us?We were always so happy together!"

"Were," I say, being much more flippant than I intend.Because I am taller than Haruka, I try to get past her.She, being much stronger than I, blocks me.

"Why can't you love him and stay here with us?"

"I'm not moving in with him," I say, feeling free to finally admit that fact."I'm just ready to have an apartment of my own.I'm over thirty, you know."That is just my physical age, however.I've been alive for over a thousand years, since the Silver Millennium. 

"And we know that you're part of our family," Michiru tells me."But I guess that doesn't matter anymore.Haruka let her go if she wants to go."

Haruka steps aside hesitantly."Fine, go.Just remember that it'll be a lot harder to just step back in after you go."

I ignore her words, hoping to make them hurt less.I leave, taking one last glance around.How am I to know that this is good-bye to everything I know and hello to a something utterly different?"Good-bye.Take care of yourselves."

"Yeah right," I hear Haruka mutter to Michiru.I heave a sigh of mixed emotions, considering Hotaru, who would soon be back for the winter holiday from her school.I also regret that now Haruka may never forgive me…it was her way, after all.Michiru, too, was stubborn, but somehow slightly weaker than Haruka, so I may be able to be on friendly terms with _her_ again.But Haruka…

I sigh again, riding down in the plain blue elevator.It should have been purple, I selfishly thought.I like purple.Purple are not Haruka, Michiru, or any of the inner senshi.Purple is Hotaru and me.Purple and green are me, just me.I sigh for the third time, this instance with tears rolling down my cheeks.It isn't fair; I don't cry.The Guardian of Time, the sailor senshi destined to be alone, doesn't cry.She doesn't fall in love either, I added as an afterthought to myself.

It is over a month later, and I have not seen anyone but Jadeite for weeks.We've been out a lot, and grown very close.I know I love him with all my heart, but something nagging at me in the back of my head says that he is wrong.I scoff at this idea, at myself.Jadeite is the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me, even if my relationship with him has severed the ties with my closet friends.They will get over it, I hope.What made them so mad in the first place?

It's a cool December afternoon, and the street is buzzing with activity: lovers out searching for gifts, children playing games, older folks having tea and parties.It is the time of year I love.I smile at passersby, and they just say "Merry Christmas" and continue on their happy way, having been so cute and saying it in English and all.

Someone taps me on the shoulder and asks if I want to buy a flower.I see that it is a very rare green one, and I buy one for a few hundred yen.It's not much, considering I basically have access to all the money I need.I take the flower and sniff it, surprised to discover a sweet, tantalizing fragrance.The flower reminds me of Makoto for some reason, probably because I can picture her sweet-smelling little restaurant just off the next street.

I decide to go there and talk to Makoto.For some reason, we've always been able to talk, especially since she's gotten older and become a mother.I reach the little building quickly and easily, and slip in unnoticed.There are hardly any people there because it's the wrong time of day.At meal times her place is one of the busiest around.

The people who are there are all watching the television, which sits in the corner.Their eyes are transfixed on the lovely Aino Minako, who is currently singing her famous hit "Love United," which has been topping the charts for a straight two weeks now.I smile, happy that another one of the senshi has her dreams realized.

"Setsuna-san!" Makoto exclaims, seeing I've entered the room.She isn't cooking today, for Makoto stands there in a brown blouse with a green skirt.Her brunette hair is held back loosely in a green ribbon, and she holds a small bundle wrapped in white in her arms.

"Makoto," I greet her readily."I've come to talk.I hope you aren't busy."

"No, I'm never too busy for you, Setsuna-san.Especially at two o'clock," she smiles and ushers me into her best table in the farthest corner."Hold him, will you?" Makoto asks, holding out her baby to me."I'll get us some tea."

"Of course," I gently take the small baby boy from her arms and look at him."Konnichi wa, Satoshi-chan," I switch to a lighter tone and sit.He's a beautiful little child, I think, watching him breath slowly in the pleasant state of sleep.

After a few minutes, Makoto comes back with a tray."You can hold him still, if you want," she offers."So what do you want to talk about?"

"Thanks," I refer to the baby, and cuddle him closer to my breast."I just need to say something to _someone_."

"About what?"She is curious, but pours the tea calmly.

"I don't know what to say.I always give advice, but sometimes, especially recently, I find myself with a loss for words," I take the cup and have a long sip, very careful not to disturb Satoshi."I was hoping that you could tell me something."

"It's fine," Makoto senses my unfounded guilt.She smiles, being as friendly as ever, and starts to talk."Haruka-san and Michiru-san were just in here last week.They wanted to talk as well, you know.I'm just so popular."We giggle together for a moment, me feeling quite unlike myself.Makoto continues, "Really, they wanted to talk to Minako-chan, who they had arranged to meet with here."

"Truly?" I raise my eyebrows to encourage her to go on.

"You know how Minako-chan founded that adoption agency just a few years ago," Makoto raises the cup to her lips for a moment."Well, Haruka-san and Michiru-san seemed to want to know about that."

"I knew they'd resort to adoption one of these days," I tell Makoto calmly, thinking that she would most likely know what I was talking about.

She nods."And they also wanted to know if I'd seen you."

I am shocked, thinking that Haruka wouldn't let her pride down like that."Why?Something I left in the apartment?"

Makoto's eyebrows take on a worried look."Setsuna-san, Michiru-san said you were seeing a man—not that I have a problem with it, but she told me his name was…" she trails off.

"Jadeite.His name is Jadeite, Makoto," I tell her calmly, not seeing any problem.

"Setsuna-san!" Makoto is so loud, her tone so aghast, that it brings the attention of the others in the restaurant.She leans down after their looks have died down and whispers rather harshly, "Jadeite!"

"What?" I am talking in normal tones, but it is all right now.Minako is singing another popular song, "Friendship's Bond," and the men's and woman's minds are shifted."He's kind, gentle, respectable, and very handsome.He loves me—"

"Setsuna-san!Jadeite was one of Beryl's four generals!" I can tell deep down in my heart that she is not lying, that her duty as Sailor Jupiter wouldn't allow her to do that, but I can't believe it.

"Don't lie to me, Makoto.You're one of the few people who actually can trust me anymore."I want to cry, and the feeling is no longer new to me, for I've done it nearly every night I've spent without him.Without my love, Jadeite.

"I swear I'm not lying, Setsuna-san!Jadeite was the first enemy the senshi opposed.Though it was before my time as a Sailor Senshi, I've heard many stories from Usagi, Rei, and Ami.They beat him, and Queen Beryl froze him or something for all eternity.Jadeite, if alive, is the enemy."

"No, he's not!" I am not accustomed to making outbursts in public places, but there is a first time for everything."I must—_he_ must…it's got to be the wrong Jadeite."

"Calm down, Setsuna-san.It probably is.I doubt that the true Jadeite is still around."Although I am years older, at the moment Makoto feels like an older sister.Her hand is on my shoulder and her voice rings in my ears.

"He can't be evil," I say quietly after being through with the tears that came so easily.It is many moments later and now Satoshi is crying in my lap."I'd best be going," I say, handing the baby over."I'll call you and we can talk about it some more."

"I'd like that.With my husband away on his trip," she starts talking of her lover, "I really don't have much company at all."She smiles at me, and I know how much she wishes to cheer me up.

"Thanks for the tea," I tell her, holding onto her floury hand."Maybe I will call tomorrow."I back out, waving as I do.I look at Makoto for a second before the door swings shut.Her green eyes quickly dart from me to her baby during this period, but friendliness is all about her.So Haruka and Michiru want to know about me, huh?

I progress quickly back home.I had to talk to someone, anyone.No, I couldn't talk to anyone:I had to talk to Jadeite.

I get home and he isn't there, but there's a card from him."Another week and I'm home, Sweet."That's all it says, which makes me disappointed.

Jadeite, I need to talk to you.Jadeite, what's going on?I feel time closing in on me.There's something terribly wrong, isn't there, Jadeite?The world…it's time for the world to freeze…

I'd always known it was going to happen:The world would go under the Evil and then Neo-Queen Serenity would save us all.Of course I knew!So, when the day does come, I am not scared, and when I wake up, life seems to return to normal.Actually, it is abnormal, but in a good way.Crystal Tokyo is built, everyone finds his place in the future, and I wait for Jadeite.

Was he killed?Horrible thoughts such as these take over after a few months.Was he banished to the god-forsaken Nemesis?No, not Jadeite.I know him.I love him.

I am summoned to the Palace one day, not knowing what is going on.I go, and find Neo-Queen Serenity there waiting for me.

"My queen?" I ask, standing in front of the beautiful woman.She's still beautiful, though in the middle of her pregnancy.She smiles down from her clear, shimmering throne and I say, "Is something the matter?"

Her happy expression almost completely melts away immediately, leaving only fake, polite joy in her features."No, not yet.Just that I've been wondering how all of you are doing."

"All of us?" I inquire, looking about me.

"All of us."It's a voice behind me.Haruka!I turn to see Michiru and Hotaru standing beside her.Haruka looks cocky, and tilts her head at me, "Hello, Setsuna."

"Setsuna!" cries the now-almost-grown Hotaru.She runs to me and me plunge into a deep embrace."I'm glad you're all right!"

"I'm glad you three are all right as well," I say, returning the hug."What's been going on?"

"That's just what I was going to ask," the forgotten queen says from the throne.After we've gotten ourselves situated: Hotaru and me together with Haruka and Michiru slightly back, Usagi continues."Setsuna, I've heard that you had a relationship with a man named Jadeite before the Destruction.Are these allegations true?"

Allegations!"Forgive me, your majesty, but what do you mean?" I try to pretend I really don't know, but I do.

"Setsuna, Jadeite was a very evil man.If he is alive, that probably means he has access to a lot of power.Who knows what could happen if a man with those intentions…"

Her point is clear.I don't want to hear it!I want to clap my hands over my ears and make it all go away.Jadeite… "Your majesty, do you realize how this sounds to _me_.Some people around here might not see it, but I have emotions too."The world starts to blur through my teary eyes."Besides," I say finally, "I haven't heard from him so he probably died anyway!"And then I do walk out, only imagining the Hotaru's sad look, Michiru's confused one, and a furious expression from Haruka.

The palace corridors are endless.When I at last find the exit, I'm ready to go back and talk some more, maybe explain things.But it is too late.I must break my ties with everyone.Everyone.No one left to care about me.

I move, and don't tell anyone where.I am still in Crystal Tokyo, but away.A year passes, then two.Three years, four years.Ten years pass!It is okay, because, as sailor senshi, we do not age physically.We will live for hundreds and hundreds of years.That is, _if_ something doesn't happen to us.

During the ten years, the people of Nemesis come and go, and the royal family is so much stronger.I make friends with Chibi-Usa, the young princess, secretly.I'm not sure how, but I still attend the Gate of Time faithfully.One day, someone is waiting for me there.

"Hotaru-chan!" I let out with a gasp."What are you doing here…I mean, Sailor Saturn."I just notice that she's transformed.Super Sailor Saturn, truly a magnificent sight, with her tall Silence Glaive in hand."What's going on?"

"Sailor Pluto," she says to me in a serious tone.I'm transformed as well, but that's a given if you're in front of the Gate of Time."There is a crisis."

"What?" I nearly exclaimed.I'm afraid what's she going to say, but I know at the same time that it's true.

"Jadeite is here," Saturn tells me with remorse in her purple eyes.I knew she would say that.

We leave immediately for the Crystal Palace.Darkness is everywhere, a black mist that has settled in the city.I can sense the evil that surrounds us, can feel it closing in.Not being in this part of the city much, I eventually lose track of Saturn, who is an expert here.

I wander, going the way I _think_ I know, that I know I should know, but don't.I'm lost.I stumble around the city, and it's clear I should have stayed where I was and called for my guide, the lovely Sailor Saturn, but I didn't.It is too late, once again.

A helpful hand appears out of the fog."Do you need some assistance?" the owner of the hand inquires, stepping out.

"Jadeite."

"Yes?" he smiles, knowing me and how I would respond, and seeing how strangely I act now."Setsuna, it's been a while."

"Jadeite."I say it again, and repeat it even more inside my head.I want to reach out and hug him, kiss him."Jadeite, I…" No, I can't say anything.No, it's too late for our passion, though I still love him.And he knows that.

"Setsuna, are you only going to say my name?" he teases, gingerly stepping closer to me.Jadeite holds out his arms to me and…I can't control myself…

We hug for a long time.I heave deep breaths, taking it all in.How he smells, how he feels.His voice, oh, I love his voice."Jadeite…"

He laughs, and so do I.Maybe I _can_ only say his name.I snuggle in closer.How wonderful it feels! To have my eyes closed, pressed up against the man I love.We stay in our embrace for a long time, until I open my eyes.

I should never have opened them.I should never have opened them to see the dark mist.I should never have opened them and seen to the dark mist to remember who the enemy was.It was my love.

I threw his arms away and stepped back."What did you do?" I demand, trying not to let my heart take me to him again.He is evil, he is the enemy.Right?No, there's mixed feelings.He is the enemy yet he is my love.Jadeite.

"You—We can't.You're—" I try to get words out, but I can't.I can't run, and I can't speak.I can only stand there like a fool and stare at him with my mouth hanging open.

"Setsuna, what are you saying?Don't you love me, Setsuna?" Jadeite asks, looking hurt.I want to comfort him now, but I control myself."We are finally reunited and you back away from me?"

His words stung my heart."Jadeite, I do love you.Very much so!" I insist, and I know he loves me too, but there is something wrong."Jadeite, I sense much evil in you."

He scoffs."Setsuna, don't be silly.I know that you've discovered who I am."A smile curves the edges of his lips.He takes one of his strong hands and pulls it through rustic blond locks. He chuckled again."Does it really matter, my love?"

"If it were anything else…but you're evil…Jadeite…I'm a—"

"Sailor Senshi," he broke in, "and I'm King of the Negaverse."

"You're _king_?" I gasp while I speak.I take my hand and put it on my head."Jadeite…how can you?"

"Join me," he says simply.Jadeite stands there with his arm outstretched, and I can see evil energy around him, building up and up.Black swirls are there, and he's suddenly changed.A black cape, seemingly made from the mist, covers most of him, while a crown of the same strange stuff sits atop his head.The evil…the evil…

The evil that is my lover.I swallow, and then hold out my hand.He takes it, and I walk towards Jadeite.I put my arms around him as I too am enveloped by the fog.I feel the evil floating into me, and I welcome it.As long as I have him, nothing else matters.

The End.


End file.
